So since the last time I posted a blog, I played at two midwestern W00tstocks, went to VidCon, refereed a rather successful game of Calvinball, got invited to a cruise, did another W00tstock, and went to ComicCon.
Those things are awesome, but the closing of Star Tours sucks, so I’m going to talk about the closing of Star Tours first.
Tonight, the Star Tours ride at Disneyland is taking its last flight to the moon of Endor. For the uninitiated, on Star Tours you board a flight for the Endor Moon, but the bumbling droid pilot Captain Rex is on his first flight and ends up taking an accidental detour through a comet’s tail, into a tractor beam, and ultimately gets taken in by a fleet of X-Wing fighters mid-combat, who then blow up the Death Star and jump to lightspeed. The robot is voiced by Paul Reubens pre-Pee Wee, and the special effects from 1987 still hold up today. I know the entire thing verbatim. Back when I had an annual pass, my family would go to Disneyland once a week, and we would always hit Star Tours first because the line was always so scenic and short. It’s simple and perfect, and it’s closing.
Since I’ve found out about Star Tours’s closing, I’ve probably ridden it more than 20 times. Most of the time, I can keep my cool. Sometimes I sort of sing along as loud as I can, other times I try to take in as much of the ride as possible, and other times I listen to the other people reacting. I filmed it on my phone from every angle, pressing it to my forehead to stabilize it. This one time I paid particular attention to the little boy next to me, who was maybe 4 or 5. He was completely in awe of the whole thing, the combat, going into lightspeed; I thought about how I used to ride Star Tours when I was his age, and thought about how cool it was, and how much better the ride was when I didn’t understand how the simulation worked at all. Then I got something in my eye.
I’ve nearly come to terms with the idea that all the things I love are transitory and impermanent. Living things will die, goods will be discontinued, businesses will close, TV shows will be canceled. The city of Long Beach closed Acres of Books, one of my favorite establishments in the world, in favor of developing luxury condos in the downtown. Sarah’s Smash Shack went out of business before I could even get to it. There used to be a $2 second-run movie theater, a bowling alley, and a candy shop within a block of my house, and before I was old enough to use any of them on my own, they were knocked down and replaced by a wine tasting bar and a spa. It’s the march of progress.
Disney tends to function in the way that Apple and Facebook do by which I mean that they will decide to change things that absolutely did not need changing, and you’re only left to assume that it’s for your own good. They have a limited amount of real estate and I understand this, but they took out Circlevision and replaced it with a Buzz Lightyear ride. They took out Country Bear Jamboree and replaced it with some Winnie The Pooh thing. Combine this with George Lucas’s knack for gratuitous revisions and you’ve got yourself a dangerous concoction.
My summer pass allows for three visits to the parks this summer, and I used my third visit a couple weeks ago with a big group of friends from VidCon. The first time we went on Star Tours I pressed my phone to my forehead and took video of the screen to the best of my ability. We came back in the evening and rode it again; I held Chris’s hand, and recited all the words along with it, aloud, from takeoff to landing. My friend James was on the other side of me, and he leaned in closer to me as the ride went on, listening to every word. My inflection was pitch perfect. My timing was right on the nose. When the ride was over, James shook my hand and congratulated me. I took my sweet time collecting my things from under my seat, and got something in my eye.
The new ride will feature the annoyingly CGI planet of Coruscant and the desert planet of Tattooine, and it will (as I had feared) be in 3D. But the most maddening thing about the new Star Tours is that it will center around a lengthy podracing sequence. I mean, in the original Star Tours, your shuttle gets sidetracked and you end up blowing up the freaking Death Star in the Battle of Yavin. The Death Star embodies everything that is sinister and evil about the Dark Side. It represents the complete corruption of the Republic, and Anakin’s God complex. You get to share a victory with the Rebel Alliance against this hugely sinister weapon of mass destruction; apart from it being a monumental win for the underdog, it’s also a huge and satisfying explosion, and you get to be there, and that’s awesome. Podracing, on the other hand, is a gambling outlet on the slummy desert world of Tattooine, a planet that harbors criminals and slaveowners; podracing is the illegal street racing of the Star Wars universe no matter how you slice it. I understand that in The Phantom Menace Anakin wins his own freedom in a podrace, but I can’t imagine how we’re going to pick up that level of individual narrative from inside the cabin of a Starspeeder. It’ll just be the standard Lucasfilm CGI drivel, which will be so dense with mindless action and movement that it’ll all blur together and become background noise.
I normally wouldn’t care, but Star Tours means a lot to me. I appreciate the multimedia engineering that goes into this new ride, and I understand that adding high definition 3D movie to simulator rides may open a whole new world of possibility for these kinds of rides. I just wish they hadn’t started with Star Tours.
I went back yesterday with my friends Jonathan and Malia, who graciously offered Chris and I free passes for the day. After Jonathan and Malia left in the evening, Chris and I resolved to ride Star Tours at least once more before the park closed. We watched all the other pilgrims in line taking pictures of everything, and I talked to Chris about how I wish I could be like The Giver in the Lois Lowry book, and just pass the experience of Star Tours to my children. We were sorted into the first two spots in the front row, right in front of Captain Rex. The ride operator checked all of our seatbelts, and said “Well, folks, this is one of the last flights to the Endor moon, and specifically it will be my last flight to the Endor moon.” Everyone in the ship hooted and applauded. He saluted us as the cabin doors closed and said “May the Force be with you.” I held Chris’s hand, and sang along to the whole ride. I turned to Chris as we were landing and said, “That was the last time we’ll ever experience light speed!” I was holding my composure as best as I could, until the very end of the ride when we have landed safely at port and Captain Rex says, “Sorry, folks! I’m sure to do better next time! It was my first flight and I’m still getting used to my programming!” I thought about how there wouldn’t be a next time, and then I got something in my eye.
I don’t know if you get to the Federal Way area much, but there’s a $2 2nd-run theater there (which is only $1 on Tuesdays).
Fantastic bit of writing, im lucky to go to school with geeks, and when we found out star tours would be closing we were quite sad.
its nice to see how Star Tours has affected people. I think it is, or was, a staple in many of our lives.
Sorry… I was going to post something really cool here… but I got something in my eye….
I’m glad you’re better at words than I am… Star Tours was a big part of my childhood too. Seeing R2 and 3P0 “in person” for the first time is an experience I will never forget. If only they could add in a second themed ride and leave the original Star Tours in tact every other day or for a weekend a month. Thanks for writing this, Molly. Something in my eye too.
I am a wee bit older than you, and remember when the ride first opened. I am thankful my two little boys got to experience Star Tours. To them, it is still magic. I was a Disneyland Cast Member for nearly 5 years, but I never tired of Star Tours. I will miss you Rex, even if you were kinda campy.
P.S. It was great seeing you at W00tstock 2.4. You rocked!
P.P.S. FREE MOLLY!!!
God damn it, Molly. Now I’ve got something in my eye.
I was seven years old again every time I got on that ride, from the time the doors closed to about halfway through the Star Trader.
*Starts clapping slowly*
*Man next to me joins in*
*2 more people clap. Faster this time*
*More and more people clap until it’s a full standing ovation*
I remember my first visit to Disney a long time ago in a galaxy right here. The only thought that I had was to ride the Star Tours rides as many times as possible. I found out that if you were alone in the line they would sneak you through a back way to get you up to the front to fill out any empty seats. I must have ridden 10 times that day. Every time I saw something new that I had missed the previous time through. To quote a friend of mine, “Progress sucks sometimes.”
I can barely describe how sad I am about Star Tours closing. I’m sure the new one will be cool and all, but it won’t be the same.
Hell, I’m still upset that they put Jack Sparrow and company in the POTC ride.
Forgot to mention my favorite Star Tours-related story: when I was at Disneyland last summer, I rode it twice, my second time at the end of the day. A little kid sitting somewhere in the Starspeeder said loudly, “Maybe this time we’ll have a pilot who knows what he’s doing!” That second, the image of Rex popped up on the video screen, and the kid let out a slightly nervous “Oh, no.”
I took my five year-old daughter on it in May and watched her the entire time. The joy and wonder in first her eyes (and just a little bit of terror at first) that spread into her entire body during the ride reminded me of my first time on the ride when it first opened back in the 80′s. I couldn’t help it, when we started going through the comet, I grabbed her and and we held on to each other tight for the entire rest of the ride. I’m not gonna lie to you Molly, I too got something in my eye and had to try to explain to a girl not yet in kindergarten why her daddy was crying and how it was a very good thing to share this experience with her.
She gave me a hug and said she understood, but you know what Molly? I’m not sure that she could…
…it was very sweet of her to say that though.
So, raise a pint of blue milk in honor of Star Tours and they better have Reubens reprise his role, or ANY role, or there will be fists shaked from here to Kashyyy.
*sniff* That was a great ride.
Also, I meant, of course, Kashyyyk.
My very first trip to Disneyland was the summer after my father died and Star Tours had just opened a year before. It was one of the first rides I went on. I loved it! I’m so glad we were able to go take our kids on it multiple times during our most recent trip down there. We will all miss it! I enjoyed reading this, it too brought something to my eye.
I can’t freaking believe Star Tours was even still going. I’m very sketchy about west-coast Disney stuff so it didn’t surprise me but Star Tours at Disney World in Florida (where I’m from) was still operating as well and at that I’m absolutely baffled. I’m surprised Lucas didn’t storm in there in 1997 after ruining the original trilogy and demand they dismantle and “reimagine” Star Tours in order to complete the total annihilation of the original Star Wars universe and finally destroy the last shred of our childhoods.
I love Star Tours and I was incredibly saddened when I heard that it was going to be removed. Star Tours was the first “Big Kid” ride I went on at Disneyland, and I have always made a point of riding it each time I go no matter how long the line is. I hold out hope however that maybe, one day, they’ll bring it back.
Molly and Ted, I loved both of your stories. The thought that I will never be able to share ST with my daughter (she is only 1)…now I have something in my eye.
I was in CA for the first time in my life last month and I spent two days at Disneyland and rode Star Tours both days. It was great to see the ride again since I am a huge fan of the original trilogy. Since I live on the east coast I have been on the one in Disney World a few times. I am planning a trip next year to Disney World during Star Wars weekends and it will be sad knowing it is not there.
Molly, i was talking to you about it in skype so i know i dont really have to put much here. You completely said it all. <3
I would respond properly, but right now I have something in my eye.
I have always wanted to go to Disneyland, and especially ride the Star Tours ride. This will never happen now because of “progress.” Honestly, the more I hear that word bandied about, the more it sickens me.
You struck a serious chord with me here, Molly. Thank you.
Molly one of my favorite memories of Star Tours will forever be sitting next to you and listening to you while you were narrating verbatim. Thank you for that memory and thank you for this beautiful piece of rememberence. well done.
*hugs*
Your article got something in my eye.
I lived in Florida, and my family had the annual pass, so we went to Disney World constantly. Since there are three different parks here it was always a little more difficult to work in Star Tours if we didn’t go to (then) MGM (currently Disney Hollywood Studios), but we tried, often jumping over to that park just for that ride.
It’s a magical thing and a cornerstone of my childhood, perhaps even my life.
And now it’s gone… for pod racing.
Thank you for a beautifully written article.
I took the same pilgrimage yesterday Molly. It is never easy to let go of the small threads of our youth that weave together to form the tapestry of joy and wonder we use as a warm blanket that sees us through the winter of our often cynical and banal “adult” lives. Bits and pieces of our past crumble away to make way for the future. It is hard for us to reconcile our treasured past with a future that simply cannot compare to the feelings we felt when the world was new and wonderful. Yet, I believe that it is wiser to think that it was our child like wonder and not the spectacle that filled us with those warm and wonderful feelings. The ride was simply a catalyst that inspired our reaction to these myths that fed our starving sense of wonder.
I am certain that there are many who thought as we do when Star Tours replaced the venerable Adventure Through Inner Space. I am certain that there is a generation that looks back on that ride with the same veneration we show Star Tours.
Think what we will of what our beloved Star Wars has become. Think what we will of our treasured memories being replaced with some noisy 3D monstrosity. I am fairly certain that there will be an entire generation of us who will experience a new ride and feel the same exhilaration we felt the first time we tried to take a trip to Endor’s moon. (I don’t know about you but I never made it with not so much as an apology letter from Star Tours or a free ticket to Bestine as compensation.)
Molly, I had never been on Star Tours, but from you description of it, I would’ve loved to have seen it for myself.
I know it won’t do Star Tours any justice, but do you think you could put your footage into a video?
Also, you need a hug. *hug!*
This made me sad reading it all over again. I’m glad I got to ride Star Tours with you all one last time that night, thanks for making us go. <3
p.s. If you ever want to feel really bummed about Disneyland, go look up vintage photos of old rides and such on flickr.
Brilliantly said, Molly. The last time we went in May, Charlie and his bud, Alfredo rode it three times in a row. We sat back and watched them and now I wish I had gone in one last time.
Molly, you should get a set of action figures that Disney released out in Florida, it’s the entire Star Tours boarding group from the ride!
My niece is working an internship at Disneyworld and got me a set… http://www.coreplanets.com/forums/showthread.php?7337-Disney-Star-Tours-Boarding-Party-Now-Available
Oh, I totally saw those in the gift shop, but they’re $40!
I’m 31, and just had my first experience with Star Tours while on vacation two weeks ago in Florida. I felt like a kid seeing Star Wars for the first time again. Despite the changes being made, George Lucas can never take that away from me.
you just made me cry, even though i dont particularly like star wars and have never even been to disneyland. damn.
also: you are one fast talker.
It was our pleasure! You guys are a ton of fun at the Haus of Maus.
Note to us all: the non-alcoholic mint juleps are MUCH tastier than the official versions…
Pingback: ashrussell.com » Blog Archive » on star tours and growing up
First, I saw you at W00tstock and my roommate and I found you after and got you to sign our poster and you said your birthday is Nov 23, which is a month before mine, though I’m older than you, and I thought of that later and thought it was cool.
Second, My roommate, Chelsea, loves Star Tours, it’s her favourite ride ever, she once went on it 27 times, which I thought was weird until I went on it last week while in CA and now I totally understand. No other ride I went on had the same all-ages, all-interests appeal.
“But the most maddening thing about the new Star Tours is that it will center around a lengthy podracing sequence.”
I don’t think that is necessarily true.
According to an official statement from a D23 article;
“There’s an incredible number of different variations,” explains Al Weiss, President, Worldwide Operations, Walt Disney Parks and Resorts. “You will rarely, if ever, see the same show twice.”
The entire blurb about it is near the bottom of this page; http://d23.disney.go.com/articles/061410_NF_BN_DisneylandHorizons.html
So, lets just hope for the best.
I was lucky enough to be one of the last riders on the final flight available to the general public (not a special event)
It was awesome! The atmosphere in the cabin during that last ride was very dream-like and surreal. Everyone was going nuts, saying the lines along with Rex, and enjoying every minute of it.
The original Star Tours was a great ride. It is definitely the end of an era. but still, I am excited about the new version.
The first time I rode Star Tours, I was seventeen on a school trip to Disney World with my three best friends. We rode it five times in a row. It’s a big part of what is one of the happiest times of my life.
I’ll miss it but we must remember that Disney parks are foremost for children, and to them Star Wars is Anni, Qui-gon, Jar-Jar, Jengo, and podracing.
We hated them but my neices and nephews loved those movies as much as we love the originals. I’m afraid we must put away childish things and make way for them, as much as that pains us.
On a side note, there is a Star Tours ride in Tokyo and Paris Disney and I don’t see anywhere that they’re shutting those down. Maybe you can go see Captain Rex speak Japanese some day.
LMAO at the sneaky URL dig
I was a very, very lucky little girl.
On my family’s annual winter drive from my home in the Canadian Rockies to Southern California in an early 70′s Shasta Royal Land Yacht (I kid you not) RV, the highlight of the trip was always Disneyland. And one year, when I was 9, our visit happened to fall on the opening of one new ride and one new show at the Magic Kingdom – the Michael Jackson 3D spectacular, Captain Eo, and Star Tours. I was one of the first thousand people to ride Star Tours and even got myself a spanky comemorative watch (which I have sadly lost). I must have rode that ride and seen that show a dozen times each that day, much to my parents’ chagrin. Turned out that Star Tours made my mom incredibly motion sick, leaving my dad to escort me through each time. I think their only saving grace was that this new ride had finally broken the fixation that I had had with It’s A Small World every visit previously.
I’m sad to hear that another part of my childhood is ceasing to exist, and even sadder that I was not able to ride it once more before it disappeared. But I’m happy that you were able to experience for all of us, Molly, and share it here.
I think I have something in my eye now.
There used to be this ice cream place in town called Dari Ripple, that used to serve these really good fries. And when I say they were really good, I mean they were some of the best I’ve had. Maybe even the best in town. They closed down some months ago. I didn’t go there very often, and I don’t know how much business they got all in all. I think the recession did them in though.
We also used to have a Dairy Queen, and some music store that I don’t think I ever went in. There was some other stuff over there too, I think, but now there’s just this long strip of buildings with nothing. The parking lot is mostly empty.
Dairy Queen wasn’t one of my favorite places to go. But I have memories of things that happened there.
There are some old buildings downtown that have these neat paintings on them. I think one of the buildings used to be an old train waiting station. The artwork is really cool, it’s like of people working on the railroad and stuff, I think. I’ve never really paid much attention to them, they’ve just been there. But one day I went by, and there was “DEMO” spray painted on the sides of the buildings.
I only got the chance to go on Star Tours once in my entire life. It was my Senior trip to Disneyland. The first time I’d ever gone. We had park hopper passes for a couple of days, so we tried to visit all the best stuff.
It’s kind of a shame that cool old stuff has to be torn down for cool new stuff. But when I say cool, it’s too different levels of cool. The new stuff is cool, and modern. But the old stuff…. it’s stuff that pieced together our childhoods. It’s what we grow up with, and what we know. It’s a constant when everything seems to change. There’s always something that has stayed the same. Taking away an old building or ride, or getting rid of a car you’ve had for awhile, feels kind of like someone is taking your baby blanket or favorite stuffed animal.
I guess that’s why people collect antiques or stuff from wars. They think it’s cool, because it’s old. And maybe it’s part of their past. The old stuff may be gone, but not forever. We still have the memories. Star Tours will end up in a History book of some sort. There are pictures and videos.
So I guess, even though things are over, they aren’t, really.
Thank you for making my heartbroken I’ll never be able to ride it. You’ve also made me doubly happy about the existence of a local shit ride called The Cave Train. They redid it but managed to keep the horrific tackiness. Sometimes progress gets it right. Though not as often as I’d like.
Incidentally, this is the ride:
http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM6Q8X_Cave_Train_Adventure_Santa_Cruz_CA
If you’re ever up here, you must visit it. The Ride Gods demand it.
I was a teen when I last visited Disney World and Star Tours was just being built. There was a Snowspeeder in the grass and a giant At-At head poking over some plywood walls but nothing more. That speeder had me excited beyond words. For years, I was annoyed at being there too soon and waited for the day when I would return.
I will be returning next month.
Yeah.
Next month. So when the planets aligned and we finally had everything in place for our big Disney World vacation, one moon was not where it shou– wait, that’s no moon!
I have this heavy sadness for something I never got to experience. And it feels compounded by the fact that I can’t share it with my sons, either.
Sons who love the original trilogy over the prequels, who love Darth Vader and the Death Star and the Millennium Falcon and explosions. Just a few nights ago, my youngest was humming the Imperial March as he ate his veggies; I quietly joined him in our slaughter of the poor greens, and we came to a giggling crescendo together.
sigh…
Thanks for the virtual memories, Molly.
Totally unrelated: I just came across your “Hipster Dinosaurs” series.
You? Are brilliant.
Your Wootstock show at Comic Con rocked! Sorry you’re so bummed about Star Tours though.
I was not aware they were closing/had closed StarTours until I read this. Normally, I would be throwing my fists in the air, crying my eyes out, but this has happened so many times now, that I’m numb to Disney’s bad decisions.
It all started with Captain EO closing. Then the Submarine Voyage. Then the changes to Pirates. I will never forgive the “creative” minds at Disney for deciding to cash in on Finding Nemo at the expense of losing one of the greatest 10 minutes of camp I’ve ever experienced. I miss the submarines more than anyone could possibly imagine.
And now StarTours. Disneyland has lost me as a fan by way of alienation.
Trader Joe’s does the same thing to me every month–always discontinuing my favorite items. I STILL miss the artichoke heart mushroom frozen calzones, and it’s been over 4 years!
Yeah it’s so true!clubs I used to play at like the coconut teaser or the knitting factory in Hollywood turned into a high dollar supper club and I have no idea why? The best places to play shows or just small bookstores and eateries shutter up for really lame replacements.hope u carry tissues,seems like u have a problem with getting things in your eye…..j/k
Dude. DUDE. YES.
I am just thankful they didn’t decide to altogether get rid of Star Tours. It always upsets me when Disney gives a perfectly fine attraction the boot. But for the love of god, the best thing about Star Tours (besides the zero wait time… despite a kickass queuing area) was that it preserved a feeling of pre-prequel Star Wars nostalgia. PODRACING? Okay, fine… I guess I’ll take it.
(PS – I found you through HIPSTER DINOSAURS and your blog totally pulled me in with the Star Tours tribute! You’re awesome!)
hmm, they need to at least do more maintenance on that ride, whether they open a new one or not. Too much stuff floating around in there, too much crud getting in peoples’ eyes. *snerk*
(I understand your feelings, though. It’s a different scenario, but I felt the same way. I grew up with a particular theme park… and I grew into ye fatte fuckere. Couldn’t fit into the rides. I vowed I would lose weight and go on those rides again. Then Six Flags decided they didn’t need/want that park anymore, and closed it. It’s now a giant bare spot on the side of a freeway… all I could do when I watched them tear down my favorite rides was stand there, bite my lip and say “oh, damn.” Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go change the filter in the a/c… there appears to be too much dust in the air in here, too.
sigh…I have been a passholder for over 15 years and a friend of the Rebellion (see ridiculous Mickeys Rebellion Insignia and Emperor Stitch pins in on my jacket
….I will miss the Droid room; the G2 droids captured my imagination as a child. And I noticed that I miss the exit into the Star Trader store when I find myself walking into the arcade from the Captain Eo exit…there was something about Star Wars travel posters and the onslaught of LucasFilms memorabilia and stuffed ewoks.
Change may come and go in our lifetime, but true classics never satiate once tampered with – the OG will be missed.
I’ve never went to Disneyworld, I’ve never seen a Star Wars movie and I don’t care much about either.
And yet, I’ve got something on my eye too.
You’re as lovely to read as you’re to listen to.
Wow, I’ve never been to Star Tours and I just feel like I have been. Great piece of writing. I’m sorry Star Tours is gone.
Beautiful eulogy. Thank you.
I will say that it won’t center around pod-racing. There will be around 50 different planets it will randomly select 3 or so from each ride, making each one different, and it will involve both prequel and original trilogy things.
Of course, i’m still super sad about th loss of the old one, and i would rather keep it, but i’m not as defeatist as you. This could be cool.
Just got back from my 3 year old daughter’s first trip to Disney World. I was very hesitant as I and my in-laws entered the newly revamped, soft launched ride. It was better than I had feared; yes, they hamfistedly shoehorned a bunch of major characters in, but I saw no Gungans, pod races, or midichlorians (or however you spell that). On the flight home, I remembered your blog post and, well, at least it’s not the shambling, reanimated corpse of a deceased loved one. In my humble opinion.
In January 1988 I was 24 and I was working at a store in Daly CIty called Computers & Music. I went to a music trade show (NAMM) at the Anaheim convention center and Brian, my best friend since junior high came with me. The day after the NAMM show we went to Disneyland pretty much just to ride Star Tours. We had a great time running out the exit and back around to get in line. It was a day full of discovery: “Hey! Captain Rex is Pee Wee Herman!” (it was not pre-Pee Wee–It was two seasons in to Pee Wee’s Playhouse and new episodes were still being produced). “Hey! They’re paging Egroeg Sucal. That’s George Lucas backwards!”
In a couple weeks Brian and I and our wives are going to DIsneyland. His wife works at Pixar so we get in for free. I’m hoping we like the new Star Tours.
Also, when I first went to Disneyland when I was six, I was absolutely terrified to get on Monsanto’s Adventure Through Inner Space. I was sure I’d get shrunk and never come back to normal size.